You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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