is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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