Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
