Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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