How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
