Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my being single is dangerous.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
