You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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