Sry I called you an 8
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
