Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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