omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
false alarm. still invincible.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch