Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.