I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm