Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
