I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
