East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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