She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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