He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize