this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize