you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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