it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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