margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
