Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
