if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
