yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize