Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
