I want to stick my p in your. b.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She even gives head with a lisp.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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