she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
