My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
