try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Oh god it's open bar.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize