I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
