how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
