dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
