Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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