I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.