i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!