were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
