10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
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so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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