I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
