similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
