Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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