we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
