I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
