awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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