like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
