do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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