Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
