the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
