At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
