An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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