Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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