Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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