yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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