Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
are you so shy because you have an std?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
