Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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