why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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