he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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