it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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