escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Be still, my beating vagina.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
