Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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