I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
