You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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