And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
