Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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