I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
